After 4.5 years of having a brick and mortar in Ivanhoe Village, I am closing the doors on Bluebonnet. People always told me that owning my own business was hard work and I never really understood what they meant. I always thought it was pretty easy. I had my own schedule. I was the boss. I got to be creative and meet new people all the time. Owning a business was AWESOME!! However, I realized last year that the hard part *for me* of owning my own store was that I was running out of time. I wanted to travel and spend time with my family. Missing out on weddings, baby showers, birthdays, ladies' nights etc made me start resenting the business. I lost old friends, I lost opportunities to make new friends; every relationship in my life began to suffer. I lost interest and inspiration. On top of the emotional factors, increases in rent and decline of foot traffic in the neighborhood forced me to cut corners. I began marking down my prices to compete with online sales and other boutiques in the area. What I didn't know at the time was that once you mark down your product, you mark down your self-worth. I quickly began feeling like I wasn't worthy of making the amount of money I wanted to. Soon after that, I started to believe I wasn't worthy of anything. A business I started as a determined 20-something year old has left me as a shell of the person I once was. I was in a really dark place so I asked the universe for a sign. I needed to know that I was doing the right thing by closing. Not only was I shown opportunities that I will benefit from, but other businesses and individuals will too. The right time to close was now.
As Sam Sylvia from GLOW said, "You make room for something in your heart, and when it's gone the room is still there". I'll probably feel a sense of emptiness for quite a while following my store closing but now I have the opportunity to take care of myself. I finally have some time to see the world with my husband and go to a ladies night.
Thank you to anyone who supported my dream.
I have a small handful of people who have been a wonderful support system to have during these last few months while I worked through my darkness. You know who you are, and I'm forever grateful for you.
My last day at 1810 North Orange Avenue will be July 14th.
Yes, someone else is already moving in.
No, I'm not selling my yellow couch.